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Why You're Not Married. Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 6 hours and 6 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Random House Audio
Audible.com Release Date: May 29, 2012
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00870FMS0
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I confess that I didn't finish this book - I read half of it and then I threw it out, along with all the other books I had on "how to catch or keep a man". All the books recommend different things, such as playing hard to get, etc etc. Well, I was tired of being single and I was tired of games and I was tired of reading books to try to figure out how to find love or why I didn't have it.THE GEM I got from this book was this. THROW OUT the list of all the things you need or want in a man! This author advised to forget the advice to make a list of all the traits and characteristics etc that you want in a partner. She advised that you just find the TOP THREE things that were important, indispensable to you, and junk the rest because it just doesn't matter.Eureka! After all my worrying over everything my Mr. Right had to have (meanwhile I dated Mr Wrongs left and right and was quite lonely) somehow that struck a chord with me. The light bulb went on in my head and I thought "HEY! I can do THAT!"This was my list for my man:#1) He & I like and love each other deeply, mutually, lastingly.#2) He & I are deeply, mutually attracted to each other emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually - lastingly.#3) We gladly commit to each other and marry for life.Voila! I no longer had to worry about all the particulars! If we loved each other well, that's good, right? And I didn't have to nitpick on his looks anymore because if we're mutually attracted then whatever he looks like, I guess I'm satisfied, right? And if we're both happy to commit to each other, then we must be doing something right.Well, friends, not too long after this eureka moment brought about by that one gem contained within this book, I found him. Actually, I'd known him for years as a friend but never bothered because he didn't fit my long list (the list this book wisely advised me to throw out!) and we have been together over a year and a half and he is wonderful, we're happy, and it is absolutely the best and most loving and fun and amazing relationship I ever had in my 39 years of life. We treat each other like gold - what a joy healthy love is!!!So... I have to congratulate the author on her wisdom.Her book wisely advises you to stop picking apart others and look within to understand why you're still single.Good luck in finding wonderful love. Do as she advises!xoxoUPDATE the original review was written a while back... it's July 30, 2015 and we are now married, we bought a wonderful home, and I'm pregnant at age 41.. very healthy and feeling great, our baby is due in September! My husband is as much a joy to live with as ever, the love, affection, respect & fun we have together are still going strong.This book gave great advice (:
Tracy has the most beautiful spirit. I first saw her on Oprah and found her insights to be so intriguing. I started following her on social media (she live-tweets The Bachelor, btw) and her wisdom - not just related to relationships, but life in general - is ON POINT. Her tone is funny, real and humble. She's like the big sis you run to for advice. Contrary to the title of the book, this is not about how to get married. The insights from the book are more about how to be a better person in general, to yourself and others (particularly a significant other). Because our society focuses so much on the wedding instead of the marriage, this book talks about the work EVERY lady needs to do in order to have fruitful, loving and lasting relationships in life. Most important thing I've learned from Tracy is about self love. Not to give away the "goods" but she talks about how the most important relationship you'll ever have in your life is with yourself. And you replicate that relationship over and over with other people. So when it's not working, you need to look within. Buy her book, follow her online, listen to every interview she gives. Do yourself that favor!
The very best book for a woman on dating written by a woman. I have read them all. The first was "Date Like A Man" back in the day. It was good, but more methodical in nature. This one unpacks your mess and helps you with self-reflection. Tracy's style of writing and frankness is much appreciated. Buy this book and give it to all your girlfriends.
Gave it four stars, but it could have easily been five. Excellent book, but the last chapter, "You're Godless", seemed a little rushed in putting it together and did not seem to nail its subject title down as the previous chapters. I think it should be subtitled as it not only relates to marriage, but any long term committed relationship with a guy. You get ten chapters, or areas that cause relationship failure: You're A Bitch;You're Shallow;You're a Slut;You're Crazy;You're Selfish;You're a Mess;You Hate Yourself;You're a Liar;You're a Dude;You're Godless. Don't let the titles throw you off because you don't relate or become offended. These are basically character traits and perspectives that simply don't offer the long term qualities needed for marriage or a long term relationship. This book is written with adult language injected in it as well as humor. These are the experiences of Tracy's failed marriages and relationships and the lessons she learned from them which caused her to choose wrong types of men for her -even though she saw each as a perfect match for one reason or another. Each chapter heading is backed by what Tracy means, her experience, her learned lesson, and usually another example of "proof" with a friend or acquaintance's lifestyle to demonstrate her meaning. This is then followed up by how you can change this aspect of your self that causes relationships to become bad choices or failures -again. Then you get a spiritual insight aimed at looking at things differently and how this can help you change. The other side of the coin here is that its a fantastic book to the inner workings of a man. Tracy gives you a lot of insight into what a man is like and what qualities and character he is looking for in a woman that he is sizing up to be his wife, partner, friend, and mother of his children. So these ten chapters are aimed at what men are seeking and what will send them to keep on seeking as they pass you up because of some specific relationship killers -whether it be right off the bat or at some time in your relationship. Tracy has certainly seen the light, and realized seeing things her way was not working and developed a means to reflect upon these relationship failures and formulate another perspective that works a bit better. It would seem an aspect of spiritual understanding has been woven into her understandings and perspectives throughout the book, but don't let this scare you off or think its undertones are one of promoting spirituality or religion, because it is not by any means. The "You're Godless" chapter is generic and rambles. It needs to be better tackled. I would suggest to Tracy, or anyone, to read Three Magic Words by U.S.Andersen as a definitive insight to replace this chapter. Otherwise, great book for any woman or guy to read to get a super perspective of both sexes when looking for a marriage or long term partner.
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